Step 1: Evaluate Where You Are (Unraveling Life’s Chaos)

Welcome to the inaugural step of your journey towards creating balance in life’s unique demands. For the remarkable women shouldering the weight of unconventional responsibilities, taking a moment to evaluate your current limitations should not be viewed as a constraint but as a compass for a more intentional life.

In the whirlwind of daily life, managing multiple roles, and facing personal challenges, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. This first step is your chance to pause, assess, and gain clarity. Understanding your current limitations isn’t about dwelling on constraints; it’s about illuminating a path forward that acknowledges your reality.

Are you ready to get started? Download the “3-Step Blueprint” (in the form below), which contains all the worksheets you need for this series.

Sorting Your Commitments

Now, let’s get to the heart of your daily rhythm—sorting your commitments.

My commitments tend to fall into one of three categories as indicated in Worksheet 1a: Personal, Family & Friends, and Work. If you have different categories, write them in over each of the three circles.

Picture the inner circle as your core priorities, the non-negotiable obligations that define your days. In the outer circle, consider the negotiable tasks, things you might be able to defer, delegate, or even eliminate. If you haven’t grabbed the “3-Step Blueprint” worksheets, don’t worry – a notebook will do. Jot down these insights as you embark on a journey to prioritize effectively and respect your commitments in a planner uniquely tailored to you.

Switching up how I planned, focusing on the nitty-gritty of my day first, made a world of difference to me. The trick? List only those rock-solid commitments—things you can’t control, delegate, or delay. Think of them like fixed expenses in your budget—non-negotiables that go on your planner.

As you’re listing your commitments and responsibilities, you should see a pattern emerging. So much of what we think are obligations aren’t all that critical. This exercise is so important for identifying not only time-wasters but also helping us hone in on those areas that require our utmost attention.

What insights are you gaining from this exercise so far? Please let me and others know in the comments below. We can learn so much by sharing our discoveries!

Some are not as obvious as others. For example, although my children are now adults, two struggle immensely with their mental health and are limited in their independence. My attention to their needs is a non-negotiable that’s in the inside circle on Worksheet 1a.

Use Worksheet 1a to jot down these must-dos, then give your list a once-over before slotting them into your weekly schedule (see Worksheet 1b).

Spotting Your Time Pockets

Your day, much like a patchwork quilt, consists of various time pockets waiting to be utilized. Regardless of whether you’re a professional, a homemaker, or someone navigating personal endeavors, identifying these time chunks is crucial.

But as we identified above, trying to time block your week without first looking at those less obvious obligations fails every time, especially for women like us who have a few more emotionally draining challenges than others.

Turning to Worksheet 1b, use a pencil to block out those chunks of time dedicated to your non-negotiables. In my weekly schedule, the non-negotiables I’ve blocked out include:

• At least 6 hours of sleep (I have always struggled to sleep more than 7!)
• an hour in the morning for my morning routine and taking care of household tasks that can’t be delegated
• several hours during the day for work tasks
• 30 minutes for mid-day exercise
• an hour for dinner prep, and
• two hours in the evening set aside for my spouse

You might be wondering how I work around that big non-negotiable I mentioned earlier – supporting the needs of my adult children. While I do dedicate weekly time for specific projects and tasks with them, I also recognize that much of their emotional needs can’t be scheduled. Both my husband and I work from home, and I know that between the two of us, we can be flexible as the need arises.

At this point, I hope you’ve blocked out time for your commitments and obligations. Take a good look at what you penciled in, checking to make sure you’ve covered each of your inside-circle items from Worksheet 1a. Review your list again, and search for any areas where you might have flexibility.

Now, take a look at those blank spaces in Worksheet 1b. Where do you have reliable blocks of time for focusing on the goals and dreams we’ll explore in Step 2? Look for those quiet hours before work, the brief respite during lunch, or the moments in between tasks. These pockets are the canvas for your focused efforts and intentional use of time.

If you’re struggling to find available time, take another look at areas where you may have some flexibility. For me, it was sleep! I discovered many years ago that by waking at 5:30-6:00 am, I was able to recapture 1- to 1-1/2 hours without any sacrifice to my health or energy levels. The bonus was that it represents quiet time, with no demands (other than cats whining to go out!)

That adds up to an extra 10 hours a week. What would you do with that much extra time?

Identify Your Distractions and Challenges

Recognizing the obstacles and interruptions in your day is crucial. Constant distraction can lead to not only loss of focus and productivity but also increased errors, safety hazards, increased stress, anxiety, and even insomnia.

Distractions might not be so obvious as a ringing phone or a knock on the door. Look at your habits. Do you grab your phone every time that notification lets you know Words With Friends is waiting for you? Do you head to the kitchen looking for a snack every time you’re faced with an overwhelming or unpleasant task?

If you work from home, distractions are everywhere! Do you listen to music while working? While it may be pleasant, lyrics and quick news reports are indeed distracting. Do you have your desk near a window? I used to think that was essential until I realized my focus is broken every time I hear a truck in the neighborhood or see a bird flying by!

Some are manageable, while others require flexibility and foresight. Recognizing interruptions unique to your journey – from the complexities of special needs parenting, the dynamics of multigenerational living, or personal hurdles – is a pivotal step.

Use Worksheet 1c to list every distraction, interruption, or obstacle that typically interferes with your plans. We’ll return to this worksheet in Step 3 to strategize how to handle these interruptions. For now, jot down everything in your worksheet.

While this may seem like an unnecessary task, you’ll appreciate your efforts as we near the completion of this blueprint. By listing your interruptions and challenges now, you’re laying the foundation for strategic problem-solving in the upcoming steps.

Conclusion

If you’ve completed Step 1, congratulations! You’ve put in a lot of thought into this exercise. I know it can be draining!

Remember, you’ve made a big investment into your goal to live a simple, more balanced life, a life that’s laser-focused on your true priorities. This first step of evaluating where you are is not a limitation; it’s a strategic move toward empowerment.

This isn’t just a first step; it’s a leap forward to a life that aligns with your unique circumstances. By understanding your current reality, you’re taking control of your time and developing the insights needed to tackle future challenges head-on.

When you’re ready to move on to Step 2, we’ll dive right into the vast pool of possibilities to shape your vision and set realistic dreams that resonate with your extraordinary life.

Remember to leave a comment about any insights or challenges you faced in this step!